Music has always been something that has connected with Ryan. I think a lot of children who have special needs connect well with music because they don't have to think about it, they don't have to answer to it, the music doesn't bug them or ask them to "say this, do that", it just lets them FEEL. And there isn't ever anything wrong with that.
Ryan has been in Music Therapy for a long time now. When we began it was in my home, and I was a part of it, participating with him. But for the last several months, he's been going to MT at a clinic and I don't go in with him. Two weeks ago as I was dropping him off, I decided to stay and see how things have been going and what sorts of things they are doing. It was an amazing experience. Anna (his music therapist) usually has one other boy with Ryan but he was not there this day. Ryan sang, danced and just...shone. He was in a happy place. His speech was clearer than ever. He asked Anna to sing a song, and when she began playing the guitar, he 'shushed' her and said that he wanted to sing it himself. He sang in perfect pitch. I couldn't stop the happy tears from falling down my cheeks.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Chiropractor
While we were at the Autism Speaks Walk Now For Autism in Minneapolis this year, Ryan saw a booth that had a model of a spine on it. He asked to go see the bones, so we went to check it out. The booth was that of a Neurological Chiropractor. Ryan asked the doctor about the bones and he squatted down to Ryan's level and began to explain to Ryan what the spine is, what it does etc. The model had nerves sticking out of it and the doc was holding them and telling Ryan what they did.
Doctor: Do you know what this nerve does? (which made laugh...) It helps to control your lungs. Do you know what your lungs do?
Ryan: They help you to breathe.
Doctor: That's right! Do you know what this nerve does?
Ryan: No.
Doctor: This one helps control your heart.
Me: Ryan, it helps your heart to beat.
Ryan: And it helps you to love.
The doctor and I looked at eachother and smiled and laughed. I had tears in my eyes and I said "yes, Ryan that's true" and the doctor (after being speechless for a moment) said "that's right, buddy, that's right." Then he said that he was going to use that with his patients.
These are the moments that I cherish about Autism. The pure innocence. The untainted thought process. Ryan knows that your heart helps you to love. It only makes sense. And I know my heart was overflowing with love that day.
Doctor: Do you know what this nerve does? (which made laugh...) It helps to control your lungs. Do you know what your lungs do?
Ryan: They help you to breathe.
Doctor: That's right! Do you know what this nerve does?
Ryan: No.
Doctor: This one helps control your heart.
Me: Ryan, it helps your heart to beat.
Ryan: And it helps you to love.
The doctor and I looked at eachother and smiled and laughed. I had tears in my eyes and I said "yes, Ryan that's true" and the doctor (after being speechless for a moment) said "that's right, buddy, that's right." Then he said that he was going to use that with his patients.
These are the moments that I cherish about Autism. The pure innocence. The untainted thought process. Ryan knows that your heart helps you to love. It only makes sense. And I know my heart was overflowing with love that day.
Diversity
I have always been an advocate for diversity. I've always hated race, gender, religious, and sexual orientation jokes. And after my son was born, I became a strong advocate for those with disabilities of all kinds. I truly believe that God created us in all shapes, sizes, and colors. He gave us all different views, different way to express love and different gifts to offer to the world.
There has been so many children who have taken their lives based upon the fact that "other" kids make them feel "different". What I want to scream is WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT... all of us!! White people are all different...Christian people are all different...Gay people are all different. We are different in so many ways. But we are ALL the same. Every person that walks this Earth is the same. We ALL love. We ALL hurt. We ALL want to be happy. This sameness is what makes our differences beautiful. My son is "different" but yet...he's BETTER in many ways. He loves unconditionally. He doesn't see people with a different skin color than him as anything other than a person. The way he 'sees' this world sometimes blows my mind. And the thought that anyone else could make him feel BAD for being this person that he is, well, it's just maddening. My son has a disability. But he's perfect. I pray that he always knows, really knows, how special and amazing he is because of his differences and that he never feels he's less than anyone else. Because I know for a fact, he's better than most of us. I send my thoughts and prayers out tonight to all those kids who feel different for whatever reason...You are special and amazing. God made you who you are for a reason. Hang in there long enough to let that reason SHINE for all to see.
There has been so many children who have taken their lives based upon the fact that "other" kids make them feel "different". What I want to scream is WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT... all of us!! White people are all different...Christian people are all different...Gay people are all different. We are different in so many ways. But we are ALL the same. Every person that walks this Earth is the same. We ALL love. We ALL hurt. We ALL want to be happy. This sameness is what makes our differences beautiful. My son is "different" but yet...he's BETTER in many ways. He loves unconditionally. He doesn't see people with a different skin color than him as anything other than a person. The way he 'sees' this world sometimes blows my mind. And the thought that anyone else could make him feel BAD for being this person that he is, well, it's just maddening. My son has a disability. But he's perfect. I pray that he always knows, really knows, how special and amazing he is because of his differences and that he never feels he's less than anyone else. Because I know for a fact, he's better than most of us. I send my thoughts and prayers out tonight to all those kids who feel different for whatever reason...You are special and amazing. God made you who you are for a reason. Hang in there long enough to let that reason SHINE for all to see.
Behaviors
Ryan has always been...wait...let me start over. Ryan is typically a mellow, easy going, happy child. Years ago when he was a toddler and into age 5 he struggled with his Autism-related issues. He spoke only single words, he had an extremely difficult time transitioning, he would hardly eat any foods, he was very particular about how he wanted things done (to the point where we had to do things several times sometimes to have it done 'just right'), he would meltdown over seemingly simple things, he would self-stimulate, he wouldn't make eye contact, he couldn't hold any kind of conversation, etc etc etc I could go on and on. However, with the intense therapy he's recieved since his diagnosis, I have had the pleasure of watching him blossom into the amazing child he is today. He grew so much in Kindergarten last year. He still struggles with some things but some of the issues and behaviors he had 4 years ago have disappeared completely, or are so rare that it's not worth mentioning. BUT now...now I'm facing a whole new round of behaviors that I'm unfamiliar with. Ryan has become somewhat violent. And defiant. For example, he choked a boy on the bus, he shoved his not-quite-2-year-old sister into a wall, he yells at me, he stomps, he throws things, he bit his sister on the arm... and I don't know how to stop these things, because I have no experience in this area, especially with a child with Autism.
I kind of feel that I may have become slack in my dealing with Ryan. He's been doing so well the last year and a half that perhaps I've let my guard down a bit. But since he's been written up twice at school this year, I need to step up my game again. I have begun reading and researching again. I need to know WHY he is doing these things in order to help him. Some of you may not understand why this is such a challenge in itself. The mind of a child with Autism is a puzzle...it's a maze...it's a mystery. It's finding all these pieces and trying them in this combination, then that combination only to throw half the pieces away and starting over with new ones. Sometimes a child with Autism is hitting because s/he is constipated. Or because s/he is hungry. Or hot. Or mad because someone hurt them and they can't verbally communicate what happened. Or the tag in their shirt is bugging them. THERE ARE SO MANY BIG AND SMALL THINGS that can bother these kids that sometimes we can never figure it out. Most of the time I can with Ryan, especially now that he's pretty verbal...but how does a child tell you why they are frustrated, when they themselves don't even know why.
The trick with Ryan is that I need to help him realize it's OK to be angry, it's OK to be frustrated or hurt or happy or scared or whatever else...but it's NOT OK to hit, choke, slap or bite anyone for any reason. And sometimes, he doesn't even know that he's exhibited poor behaviors. SIGH. It's a giant puzzle. And right now I'm missing the picture that shows me where they go.
But don't worry, Ryan. I'll figure it out. I always do. With the help of the doctors, therapists, books, websites, my Autism mothers who've "been there, done that"...I will put this puzzle together.
I kind of feel that I may have become slack in my dealing with Ryan. He's been doing so well the last year and a half that perhaps I've let my guard down a bit. But since he's been written up twice at school this year, I need to step up my game again. I have begun reading and researching again. I need to know WHY he is doing these things in order to help him. Some of you may not understand why this is such a challenge in itself. The mind of a child with Autism is a puzzle...it's a maze...it's a mystery. It's finding all these pieces and trying them in this combination, then that combination only to throw half the pieces away and starting over with new ones. Sometimes a child with Autism is hitting because s/he is constipated. Or because s/he is hungry. Or hot. Or mad because someone hurt them and they can't verbally communicate what happened. Or the tag in their shirt is bugging them. THERE ARE SO MANY BIG AND SMALL THINGS that can bother these kids that sometimes we can never figure it out. Most of the time I can with Ryan, especially now that he's pretty verbal...but how does a child tell you why they are frustrated, when they themselves don't even know why.
The trick with Ryan is that I need to help him realize it's OK to be angry, it's OK to be frustrated or hurt or happy or scared or whatever else...but it's NOT OK to hit, choke, slap or bite anyone for any reason. And sometimes, he doesn't even know that he's exhibited poor behaviors. SIGH. It's a giant puzzle. And right now I'm missing the picture that shows me where they go.
But don't worry, Ryan. I'll figure it out. I always do. With the help of the doctors, therapists, books, websites, my Autism mothers who've "been there, done that"...I will put this puzzle together.
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