Yogi Bear

The local theater shows a movie once a month for kids with special needs. They call it "Reel Movies for Real Needs". It's a great thing. They don't dim the lights as much, the sound is quieter, all the families "get it"...it's a time for the kids who sometimes have issues sitting through a movie at a theater can learn to adjust to things that might bother them.

Last weekend we went to the 'Reel Movie' showing and they played the new Yogi Bear movie. I took Ryan and Eric with me. I bought the boys the little kids deal they have which includes popcorn, a candy and a pop. We sat in a row with a friend of mine and her son, so Ryan was 3 seats away from me. About half way through the movie, he walked over to me and asked to sit with me. (On a side note: while most mothers are sad that their 7 year old won't even let them kiss them in public cause it's embarrassing or gross or whatever, I revel in the fact that Ryan LOVES kissing me, hugging me and yes, still sitting on my lap) I asked him if he was okay because I was worried something was bothering him. He said "I want to sit with you so I don't eat so much".

So we watched the rest of the movie together. There was one part where Yogi and friends realize that they are going to cut down all the trees for logging. Ryan turned to me and whispered "I don't want them to cut down all those trees". He seemed very concerned. I said "I don't either" and he responded by saying "Those trees would be so sad to be cut down". It actually brought a tear to my eye. The compassion and love my son has for things is amazing. Sometimes that love is directed toward a toy or book. Sometimes a person or a place. But the pure and true LOVE that he is capable of is astounding to me. I wish everyone could love as much as he does, espcially the simple things. Our world would be a little less "Jersey Shore" and a lot more real. <3

Routines....

This morning my alarm didn't go off. Ryan and Eric missed the school bus and I had to bring them to school. Everything was fine until we pulled to the front of the school and I walked the boys inside. When I was talking to the office lady, Ryan was standing there hanging his head. As we walked toward his classroom, a little girl I recognized from his class walked by on her way to the bathroom and said "Hi Ryan!!" I was thrilled by this because that means that she likes him but when he didn't respond to her I told him that it's rude not to say hi back to someone and that he didn't want to hurt her feelings by ignoring her. I hate to admit it, but I also don't want him to be disliked because he doesn't understand the 'social norms'. He gave a loud sigh and hung his head again. We got to his locker and I waited for him to start removing his winter stuff and backback. He just stood there; staring at the lockers. I knelt down and put my hand on his back. He started crying. I took off his backpack and helped him remove his hat, gloves and coat. He was trying so hard to fight back the tears, but they won. He gave me a big hug and cried into my shoulder. His teacher came out and said "Hi Ryan, are you feeling better?" (He missed school on Friday due to illness) He grumpily looked at her and said "yes". I explained to her that he was having a little trouble adjusting to the change in the routine and I'd send him in after he had regained control. He asked me to help him wipe his eyes off and he kept saying "they're still wet!" because he was still crying....my heart ached. My stomach hurt. I was pissed off. Not at Ryan. But at Autism. WHY is it so hard for my son to change a routine like this? Some kids might LOVE the chance for mom to take them to school instead of riding the bus. Some kids like the routine to be changed up once in awhile. Not Ryan. He likes...no, he THRIVES when things are exactly the same all the time. I wish for him that the world worked like that. I wish we could map out every day so that he never had to feel that chaos in his body, in his mind. I will probably never understand why it's so difficult for him. And I'll never be able to fully help him through those times. And that sucks. All I can do for him is hug him, wipe his tears away as many times as he needs me to and just know that he'll be fine in a few minutes. And buy a second alarm clock.